I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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