I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
