I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She told me I should be a condom model.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
