hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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