you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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