I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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