if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
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