dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
After tacos, we're chasing women.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
