508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
