if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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