So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
