Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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