Do you still have your period?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Send help, water and tortillas.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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