You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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