The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
