Tell her she can't have a vagina
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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