Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
