I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
