1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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