how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
