every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
