how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
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I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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