Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
