i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
