So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
