I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
