she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
