I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
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despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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