Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
