I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Where is the hickey?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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