A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize