ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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