I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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