I wish I could teleport
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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