just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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