You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
