Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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