i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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