Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize