did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
