I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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