Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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