She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
