Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
