you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
