Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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