Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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