false alarm. still invincible.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
