Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
