He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
do herpes really smell.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
