Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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