i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize