you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
