Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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