so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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