from now on my penis is your penis
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
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You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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