i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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