The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
another moral hangover. fuck.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
