I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
