Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
