I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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