Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
