Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
