Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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