I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
