weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
organizing the empties. That sober.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
