The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
