New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
