never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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