bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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